Thesis delivered, life restarted

Today is a blog post about a fresh start.

I handed in my thesis today. I’ve already told you how I wrote the thesis abstract and main part, but was struggling with the conclusion.

I went to a professional writing site and got them to write the thesis conclusion. I was mortified I’ve done that, but I was struggling so badly and time is running out. I then weaved the whole thing together to create my thesis and that has now been delivered.

So this blog post and today is about drawing a line in the sand and having a fresh start. I have cheated with my thesis and I am horrified I have done it, but it’s done and it’s dusted. It’s now time for me to move on and to learn from it.

After today am not going to talk about cheating with it any more, and I’m going to look at my academic writing generally. I think I need to analyse why I struggled so badly, was it my attitude, the topic or a skills gap, life, what ever it was a need to find out.

Then I can make sure that in the future I adjust my timescales so that I have plenty of time, motivation and the mindset to produce writing, thesis, what ever to the standards that are required. That just hasn’t happened and if I don’t learn now in the first year of my degree and I’m never going to learn and I’m going to end up passing my degree partly as a cheat, and I definitely don’t want that to happen because I would never be able to live with the guilt.

So this blog post is a line in the sand, a line underneath it, a finish, an end. Tomorrow is a new day and a new start, and I must make sure that I take the right attitude into tomorrow. I must admit that things are been tough recently and perhaps that has affected me more than I thought, and it’s time to really move on before it’s too late.

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My thesis conclusion has arrived

When I woke up this morning there was an email from the company I ordered the thesis conclusion to be written by. I went a bit cold to be honest. To cheat so blatantly and to see the evidence in front of me was a little bit humiliating.

And it got worse when I opened it. They have done an absolutely superb job and come to an amazing set of conclusions that I’m not sure I could have constructed. They have taken the very best of what I’ve done and condensed into a fantastic summary, anyone reading the thesis conclusion would know exactly what I have been discussing and why.

It really was a wake-up call and I think I made the decision when I read it to take this a little bit more seriously. I’m never going to pass a degree if I cannot even do the basic work. So I need to get on top of this and stop drifting around the way I am.

I’ve heard back from the police about my wallet, they actually did get CCTV footage, but the lady is unknown, so they don’t hold out any hope of catching her. That’s a shame, but just as I expected. And as I say, I actually felt a bit of empathy with her, because I’m cheating other people, just as she is stealing from them.

Anyway, this is coming to a conclusion soon because now the thesis conclusion is here, I can weave the three parts of the thesis together to get it finished and handed in. I’m hoping to do that by the end of tomorrow so that I can get the thesis handed in and puts this horrible episode behind me.

Right, it’s time to get on with my evening, I need to spend some time with my wife and kids. I must say I’m enjoying blogging because it’s helping me to get things off my chest and clarify my thoughts. I’m dealing with my guilt better because I’m blogging and I’m realising that I really do have to change the way I am doing things or I aren’t going to pass this degree. That’s something I’m not sure I would have realised if I had not been speaking to my blog in the way I have, if somebody else’s in my position and reading this, I thoroughly recommend starting a blog deal with your problems.

Had my mobile phone stolen today

What a horrible day today was.

I’m already feeling really low about ordering my thesis conclusion from a writing help site. I suppose I am a bit ashamed and embarrassed that I have done it, and that I need to. I should be able to write better than I can.

But I’m hoping to turn it into a learning process, I’m hoping that by getting the thesis writing done for me, I can see how it’s been structured and learn from it. I’m hoping that that will allow me to learn from my cheating.

But anyway, I went into the city today and was buying a few things. I was in a department store and I picked up a handful of items and went to the till. When I got there to pay, I found that my wallet was gone from my back pocket.

I was mortified and thought what on earth had happened. I must’ve dropped it somewhere or forgotten it, I had been to a coffee shop so I went back there, but they said it had not been there. They even looked on the CCTV and showed me that my wallet was not left there.

I got home and thought about it, and I realised that it had been stolen. When I was in the department store, a young lady had bumped into me in a busy part of the store, she had apologised as she did so, and I thought when she bumped into me that she grabbed me a bit too hard. At the time I didn’t think anything of it, and because she was attractive I was distracted by that, which I think was part of the game.

I think she was a pickpocket and I think that my wallet is now in a bin somewhere and my cash is in her pocket. I have cancelled my cards and I have rung the department store to tell them the time the place and asked them if they can look on the CCTV, and I’ve also rung the police to tell them this.

I hold out no hope, petty crime happens like this all the time. But I suppose the ironic thing here is, how can I get angry at somebody stealing from me, when I am cheating with my thesis writing. When I’m getting somebody to write the conclusion to my thesis, so that I can cheat and get ahead of everyone in my peer group, then am I any better?

I’m confessing here that I ordered some writing help

In my last blog post I said how I was struggling to get my thesis finished. I was really struggling with writing a thesis conclusion, and that was even more problematic than writing the abstract.

Only a week to go before the deadline of handing in, I must admit that last night I panicked and I have ordered a company online do the thesis conclusion for me. Apparently they get an expert writer to write it to the level you want based on the information given, so I have given them my thesis and asked them to write a conclusion based on it.

It has cost a little bit of money, but not as much as I thought and I have to say that it is a bit of a gamble. But what I’m hoping is that even if it comes back and it’s not great, it will generate some ideas and kickstart some processes in my brain which will allow me to actually finish it myself anyway.

I’m really anxious about the fact I have done it, and I feel incredibly guilty. I won’t tell my wife because I think she will be very upset with me, and so I’m going to have to keep this between me and this anonymous blog. And thank God it is anonymous because if my friends with reading this they would be mortified as well, but then I suppose I will just have to bottle it all up inside and not tell anyone.

I have to hope that this conclusion when it comes back is decent because my thesis has to be handed in in a week, and it has to have a conclusion, so come what may between me and the writing help company I’m going to have two produce something.

Right I have to get away from his computer, I feel disgusted with myself and it’s time to go and have a few beers I think. My friends are playing pool down the local pub and I think it’s time that I got my head away from this mess because otherwise I’m just going to sit here and feel guilty for the rest of the night.

How on earth do I go about writing a thesis conclusion convincingly

I’m now in the process of writing my first thesis for my degree course. It hasn’t been as bad as I thought in some ways, but I have to say that I have found it a struggle to get the thesis writing done properly and convincingly.

Getting the research and my point of view woven together into a convincing thesis has been a real struggle for the past few weeks and thankfully it’s starting to come together.

I’ve really been struggling with writing the thesis abstract, and that has taken a week on its own. I’ve really struggled to get across what I’m going to say and the angle I’m coming from without it sounding boring.

And that’s where my confidence has gone. I am still needing to write a thesis conclusion and I haven’t got near that yet.

I’m starting to panic because the deadline is in a week and I’m absolutely nowhere near getting this finish. I’ve actually considered buying help writing a thesis conclusion, and that is actually scaring me a bit. Because that’s the road I am considering going down then I must be under more pressure than I thought I was.

I am speaking to my new blog about this rather than my wife because I think she would be very upset if she knew I was thinking about cheating with my degree course.

So my confession here is that I am thinking about paying someone for writing a thesis conclusion. If I go down that road I’m not really sure what it will mean, and so I need to think hard about it. But with the week deadline looming, and the entire conclusion to write, plus other bits to tie together, I’m really not sure what I’m going to do.

Whatever my decision is, I need to get it decided within the next 24 hours, because if I can’t get it decided in that time that I would have time to order a thesis conclusion from a website that does writing for you, and if I decide I’m not going to cheat I won’t have time to do it myself. So the deadline is looming and the stress over the next day is going to be incredibly high for me.

A mature student and a mature blogger

I am a first time blogger and I’ve never done this before. I’m not into social media or much in the way of modern personal exposure online.

But I have recently started a degree course as a mature student and I felt it would be a good little way for me to record my progress, deal with some issues and maybe stop boring my wife quite so much in the evenings.

So I suppose the first thing I have to say to myself and anybody else reading this is that this blog will be quite boring for most people. It’s mostly about me and my personal life, and my degree, and unless you are in the same position then you’re probably not going to get anything out of it to be honest.

I suppose the main reason I want to blog is that I want to make sure I stick to the work schedule. I think that it’s all fine having a schedule and sticking to it, and recording progress, but I think I need to explore it in my mind as well. I think that discussing it here will really help me, because I think that it will allow me to explore topics and problems, seek resolutions, and generally churn things over in my head and then record them here in an informal manner.

It’s going to be completely anonymous so it doesn’t really matter what I say, which means I can be quite candid and personal with the things I’m going to write here, they are going to be at times my innermost thoughts and confessions and I’m going to record my struggles and hopefully it will make things easier for me in the long run.

Anyway, that’s about it for this first blog post. It’s really just a test to work out how to use software and also to just really clarify to myself exactly what I’m doing this. I don’t want to invest time doing something which doesn’t benefit me, because time with a family and a degree course to do over the next three years is obviously going to take up a lot of time anyway.